2 raquettes et une balle

"Deux raquettes et une balle svp" - this was the first order I received from behind my newly acquired bar on the very popular campsite Camping Le Moténo (well, it's not strictly my bar but it may aswell be). Previous to this request I had been cramming all possible French drink names into my head so that I felt completely prepared to act upon my first order. Here goes - red wine, red wine... red wine and... 2 raquettes et une balle?? 'It must be some sort of weird cocktail' I told myself. "Pardon?" perhaps I had misunderstood his rough Breton accent and he had actually asked for 'un verre de vin rouge' No such luck "Deux raquettes et une balle" he repeated, but this time I noticed a slight movement in his right eye as he looked over at what he wanted... of course! So I handed over two ping pong rackets and one ping pong ball. Sorted, this is going to be easy.

Or so I thought... turns out I am to run the bar and restaurant and ice-cream sales completely on my own from 10 in the morning til 5 in the afternoon. Although, to be fair the boss does arrive at midday to generally chat with clients and get in my way, then she leaves again at 2pm as soon as she sees the washing up start to pile up. Egalité I think not !

Bizarrely enough as the season has progressed the clientel I receive in the restaurant has diminished - obviously word has got around about how rubbish the food we serve is (it is cheap though). However, how the 'grapevine' works on a camp site where customers are only there for 2 weeks maximum works, I am unsure. Perhaps customers leave a friendly note in the mobilehome for the next people, warning them not to be tempted in by the over smiling english girl with the plate of 'moules marinières.' I don't know.

Despite... or rather thanks to the poor quality of food I have less work to do. I am now able to spend a great deal of my time dealving to the depths of deep freezers in search of ice lollys in the shape of footballs and pouring halves (very badly). At least everyone is on holiday, this counts for a lot as everyone is ready for a good laugh which definitely helps when you have trouble understanding that when someone orders 'un wazis trop et deux despés' what they actually mean is a can of oasis -tropical and two desperados please.

Unfortunately I have started to pick up on this speech impediment and it is becoming more and more noticeable in everyday life. I believe the proper medical term for it is 'French'. Happily I'm already signed up for one months rehab after the season.

Vive La France!

Lucy